Childhood Antics

Heading into this evening’s bedtime routine with a cranky, over-tired, hyperactive, 8 year-old boy, I was thinking that I had it hard. And then, while my boy was bathing and I was washing up in the kitchen, I witnessed this…

EXT. SUBURBAN GARDEN – DUSK

A Mama hummingbird races into a suburban yard filled with sweetly scented lemon blossoms, orange blossoms, and hedge roses. She moves as if chased by demons, and starts her evening meal of lemon nectar, with frenzied speed.

Two juvenile hummingbirds zoom in after her, from separate directions, moving so fast that they can barely be seen, darting at her, nudging her, upsetting her wings during flight. Mama lands for a moment to catch her breath and steady her flight.

MAMA
Can’t you see I’m trying to eat?
Go away and leave me alone!

She flies to another lemon blossom, and attempts another sip of dinner. The two youngsters dart at her again, nudging, feinting, and buzzing past her while she tries to eat her meal.

JUVENILE BIRDS
“But Mama! We’re HUNGRY!!!

MAMA
There’s flowers everywhere.
Get your own damned dinner.

Mama hummingbird shoos them away, and attempts to eat supper, again.

The Juvenile hummingbirds race to a cluster of yellow arugula blossoms, already tightly closed for the night. The first attempts to force his nose into a flower, fails, bounces away from the flowers, zooms in at it again, and tries once more to sip nectar from a closed flower.

JUVENILE #1
(whining)
“Mama! This flower is broken!”

The second juvenile attempts to sip from an open arugula flower that is situated inside a cage. He cannot reach it, and bumps his head against the caging, over and over and over again.

JUVENILE #2
Ouch, Mama! It hurts when I do this!
I need you to help me. I’m going to die!!!

The Juvenile birds race back to their harried mother, and continue to pester her. Eventually, she abandons all hope of a meal, and zooms off in search of a more peaceful locale.

THE END

I wonder if she could use a hummingbird feeder filled with homemade lemon cordial. I’m sure I do. And I don’t have it nearly as bad as she does!

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